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03 August 2008 @ 08:09 pm
stephenie meyers can go burn in hell!  
WTF? "THE NEXT J.K. ROWLING?" Bite me, Stephenie Meyers.



For those of you who haven't read the "Twilight" series, here's a brief overview of the main characters.

ISABELLA = Bella = Love of Edward Cullen's long, long, long, long, long ass life = uber bitch

EDWARD = Vampire = Sparkly Vampire = Pushover = Drama Queen Extraordinaire

JACOB = Werewolf = In love with Bella = Another Whiny Bitch

So there you have it. Two whiny bitches and a guy who is so besotted by one of them that he definitely comes down in my book.

I don't get it. Why are these books so popular? They're BAD. They're basically the same old thing we've seen for a long time; girl meets vampire, vampire and girl fall in love. Only then, those characters were actually entertaining and not complete morons.

BUT MOST OF ALL, I HATE BELLA SWANN.

She VOLUNTARILY moves to Forks, then bitches about how it's so cold and damp and how she is so used to the Phoenix weather where it's as sunny as Hell there. She COULD have stayed in sunny Florida with her mom and her mom's luva, but she said no. Cuz she's a bitch.

She constantly refers to herself as ugly or plain or unattractive, and yet, there are like 5 (FIVE) whole guys just DYING to date her. But she's also clumsy (JUST CUZ YOU FALL OFF A FUCKING BIKE ONCE IN A WHILE DOES NOT MAKE YOU CLUMSY; TRY FALLING OFF A FUCKING CURB AND BREAKING YOUR LEG IN FIVE PLACES, AND THEN GET BACK TO ME...bitch), so that just makes her more attractive (SIDE NOTE ONE).

And, oh yeah, her dad buys her a fucking TRUCK, free of charge on her part. And she bitches that it's not what she expected. What a hobag.

SIDE NOTE ONE: Since when did being clumsy equal SEXY?
 
 
Current Mood: shockedshocked
 
 
 
Jude: Headdeskjude_91 on August 4th, 2008 10:52 am (UTC)
I haven't read the series but my friend likes it a lot. I've been trying to decide whether to read the series or not since I always thought the plot has been used about 48574857485 times before. Judging by this post I probably won't be reading it, so thanks for saving my time. :D
Lexi: Bitchsharpscissors on August 5th, 2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
Gah! I hope I didn't just burst your bubble and reveal everything!
Jude: Aragornjude_91 on August 6th, 2008 07:28 am (UTC)
Don't worry, I wouldn't have probably read it anyways. :)
I'm not stupid. Just socially awkward.starmack on August 4th, 2008 09:26 pm (UTC)
I've always thought Bella was a mary sue.

The only characters I care about are the Vampires--mostly Edward and that's because I'm shallow. I didn't even read the whole book--I scanned it and skipped around. I haven't like any of the last three really.
Lexi: I Really Need A Smokesharpscissors on August 5th, 2008 10:20 pm (UTC)
She is definitely a Mary Sue. The epitome of the words. She annoys me so much!

I do like the vampires; without Bella, Edward is pretty freaking awesome. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Jasper and Alice's relationship, and both of them as individuals. I guess if Bella weren't there, the entire book would be awesome for me.
I'm not stupid. Just socially awkward.starmack on August 5th, 2008 11:47 pm (UTC)
I'm with you. Can we get a preseries book on just the Cullens please?
Lexi: Olsen Girl - Prrrrrettysharpscissors on August 5th, 2008 11:48 pm (UTC)
Exactly!